Answers to common misconceptions & questions about psychotherapy

Misconceptions about therapy …

Many people share similar thoughts and ideas about therapy. Some of these suggest that there are misconceptions and unanswered concerns which can prevent people from experiencing the positive, life-changing benefits that therapy can bring. I am going to try to answer some of these concerns for you.

What happens when I contact you?

Having taken the first step to contact a therapist, which is not always an easy step, I would contact you within twenty four hours. By email or telephone (whichever you prefer) to discuss a convenient time to arrange a consultation at the Barnes office in SW13. The office is discreet and arranged sensitively to accommodate clients. Please see photos of the room on this website.

What is the Therapy Agreement form?

The Therapy Agreement Form is a contract between therapist and client setting out how I work and what you can expect from me. It is the ‘Housekeeping’ of the therapy, such as locations, times, confidentiality, holidays, consent, privacy information and data protection, cancellations, payments, etc. It also contains a client consent form as it is important for the client to agree to therapy. There is no obligation for you to continue therapy even if you sign the Therapy Agreement.

How long is each appointment?

The initial consultation takes ninety minutes allowing us to gain a sense of what is going on for you. We would then meet on a weekly basis, each appointment would be fifty minutes in total, this is at the same time every week.

What will happen in the room?

There is no right or wrong answer to the therapy sessions. This depends on each individual client and what you would like to focus on and where we begin. The fifty minute session is for you. It is a private and calm space. I will listen very carefully to you and whatever you want to talk about. I am an art psychotherapist and you may want to use the art materials as a tool to help articulate difficult thoughts and feelings. You may not feel like talking. Quiet and thinking can also be an important part of the work we do together.

Do you have a sliding scale for payment?

I offer a self funded full time student lower fee available. We can discuss this when you contact me, or at the first appointment

I offer a self-funded, lower fee available for full time students. We can discuss this when you contact me, or at the first appointment.

Do I have to come every week?

Part of our agreement is that you want to commit therapy and to weekly sessions. I would ask you to attend every week. This is part of our verbal agreement as I will reserve our arranged time and the space for you each week, secured and no longer available to others. If you are ill or have given me at least 24 hours notice I will do my best to re-arrange another time/day the same week for you. Please see further information on cancellations in the Therapy Agreement Form.

Is the therapy hard?

Therapy is not always an easy process, it can bring feelings to the surface which are difficult and upsetting. It is important to be prepared for this. Although therapy can feel difficult, it can also feel extremely helpful, supportive and life changing. It is all about balance and whether it is worth processing difficult feelings that can get in the way of feeling more stable and hopeful.

Do you write notes during therapy?

I write a minimal amount of notes during the first consultation. I do not write notes during therapy. I ask for your contact details and the name and address of your GP. This is a safe guarding measure. This information is kept in a locked confidential file in my locked office.

What if you cannot help me?

It is my professional obligation to refer you on if I do not have the appropriate skills to help you. We would discuss this in our initial email and consultation. It is also important for us to regularly monitor how things are going. Having open communication is part of the trusting therapeutic relationship. If it is my view that, specialist support would be best for you I would recommend you to an appropriate service such as for example, Survivors UK who offer particular and specialist trauma support.

Misconceptions about therapy …

Therapy is not for me, it’s for people with serious mental problems …

Therapy is not for everyone and therapy is not just for people with serious mental health problems. Therapists work within a wide spectrum and in various settings. From more serious mental health problems to those people with no previous mental health history at all. Life goes in phases. Some phases are easier than others. At some point, we have experienced stress, felt anxious, overwhelmed, sad, or depressed. No one is immune to these common, human conditions. Each individual’s problem/s can feel serious and overwhelming at any given time. Therapy offers a place to think about this. Therapy is a great opportunity to make sense of what matters and find ways to resolve difficult and complex problems.

Therapy? How does it work? And does it even work?

Therapy is not a quick fix, nor can it magically cure all ills or wipe away the past. But it can change old behaviours which may be problematic and even destructive. With time it can help alleviate the pain of experiences, helping to process them, so that they no longer overwhelm us. It also builds resilience and confidence. Therapy is a process that teaches us how our mind and emotions work. Scientists have proven that every day our brain is being shaped, moulded and changed by our experiences. This is referred to as neural plasticity. Therapy can offer us more choice to help us navigate feelings, build better behaviours and improve our relationships. It helps us to think about our thoughts differently, so that we can recognise and decide how we want to live the life we want.

I have friends I can talk to …

It’s true, friendship is extremely important for good mental health. It can also act as an important support during therapy. However, no matter how close a friend is, they may not have the skills required to address complex problems. Good friends are not usually trained therapists. Sometimes, we can help ourselves by making changes to our lifestyles; by talking to friends, reading self-help books, new hobbies etc. This can be very helpful and beneficial to us. Other times this isn’t enough and problems can seem to overpower us and impact on our lives, work and relationships in a detrimental way. No matter how good a friendship is, it may not have the capacity and objectivity important to undertake safe therapeutic work.

Why would I talk to a stranger?

It’s not easy taking the first steps. It takes some courage. However, the idea of talking to a stranger can often seem much bigger and worse than the reality of actually doing it. Sharing your story with a Therapist who suits you is often surprising and reassuring. Choosing to embark on a safe, non-judgemental therapeutic relationship and working at your own pace, can offer the perfect balance of personal space and empathy that feels helpful, authentic and just right.

I can fix my problems with the help of my family …

Sometimes and no matter how much we might love our families, we can also feel unsurprisingly ambivalent toward them. It can help to get a different perspective. Especially if turning to family and friends for help hasn’t worked in the past. It can be tricky to see the wood from the trees within complex family dynamics. Sometimes families can also feel like part of the problem. Sometimes we want our lives to remain private from them.

Once you start therapy you won’t stop …

Because we are multi-facetted, and life is too, therapy can continue for as long, or as little as you choose. You are in control at all times when deciding the amount of therapy that you feel ok with. Setting goals at the start can work for some individuals, however, one size does not fit all. Therapy can also depend on the complexity of the problem/s. As life goes in phases, it can be helpful to know that therapy is there during those different phases; childhood, adolescence, college, university, work, relationships, having children, marriage, loss, death, transitions, etc. Therapy is there, if and when you may need it.

Why tell someone who I don’t know, embarrassing and upsetting things about myself?

Whoever you are and whatever you say in therapy it is treated with the utmost respect and care. Therapists are trained professionals specialising in working with subjects that may be extremely personal, embarrassing and/or upsetting. They are trained and experienced in this type of work specifically. Like other Health Professionals they work with different people, in different situations and with varying problems. Therapists work with problems in a sympathetic yet objective way. They carefully develop and build a trusting relationship. Feeling safe and not judged is essential to being able to share difficult, embarrassing and or upsetting experiences. Then it can feel liberating, like a weight being lifted. Work can then begin to process and make sense of feelings, at your pace.

It’s one-way, they don’t tell you anything about themselves …

Therapy is a secure space for you, it is not the therapist’s therapy. A fifty minute session devoted to you is a relatively short time each week. Therefore, while a therapeutic relationship develops, it is important to always have safe clear boundaries. Boundaries that focus the thinking toward and around you and not your therapist.

Then they say, "time’s up” …

Time is all part of a safe boundary. It helps to carefully contain the thinking and emotions shared from one session to the next. The time is managed so that you become accustomed to it, like an internal clock. If you are feeling upset and need a few minutes to compose yourself at the end of a session, this is something the therapist would manage very sensitively for you. The time boundary may seem strange at first. However, if your session regularly started late or went significantly over time each week it could add to uncertainty. It could make the session feel unclear, undefined and unpredictable. It is important to be able to expect your therapist to be as reliable and consistent as possible. Time keeping is an important part of that.